Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Path to the Path #6: Not the Right Time

Well, I apologize for those of you that follow this blog. I started my new job and it took a month to get somewhat adjusted. Lucky for all of us, this blog is not about hating my job. I like my new job!!! YEA!!!!!!!!! Getting to do marketing for MTN is a great fit. And the people I work with are amazingly kind. I left the work force for a year. Partly after being bullied and harassed at my last job. It was terrifying. I don't need to get into details but I am already healing after a toxic situation with this non-toxic situation.

Joy and I have been facebooking both of us saying..."OH Hi! Sorry. Sorry for not making art or talking." joy would tell me she was feeling tired. While I told her of the leaky roof, Andrew and I have found ourselves with in our new apartment.

Joy is most awesomely PREGNANT!!!!! So she is a bit tired. But the great thing is she launched her e-Children's Book before knowing she was pregnant! Here is a link. It is $2. Buy her book. It is adorable. http://www.amazon.com/Billy-Blankenstooth-Joy-Hanford-ebook/dp/B00K0N1W9U/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1398872792&sr=8-1&keywords=joy+hanford

So for a quick monthly catch up and then the moral of the story. Other than housing woes, life in Minnesota is pretty sweet. I get to see my family two to five times a month. :) I get to be a part of family outings.
My Dad is outfitting me with two bikes...my amazing cruiser "Panama Jack," and he is getting me a road bike cause I LOVE to ride all the trails and the greenway of Minneapolis. My best friend, Brenda took me on a cool local event, "Spinning Stories"  https://www.facebook.com/events/646187928782740/ that her friend Brian coordinates/is the creator of. We did 15 miles of biking and stopped every few miles of another story. Brian made it so there was very little biking on streets. I went to my parents the next day (to do my laundry, the excuse we use for me to spend time with them.) And Dad had me try a bunch of bikes out. He has a 15 year old trek that I hope he will bring me soon so I can jet around. Panama Jack is the ultimate cruiser...but I need a little bit more for trail riding with these biker women of awesome I have met.

So the job is good, and I am learning a lot. I am learning how to calm down. That the most important part of a job is not the ideas you have but learning how you fit into an org. Also, that being kind always does go a long way. Not the right time, is sort of a theme right now. I am trying, through meditation, through exercise, through what I eat, to learn to just flow with what happens. With this, my free time is being used for art making. These great sketches are coming out and a bigger project is being worked on.  Pushing anything isn't going to make it work better.
 Connections can be leaky. Has Andrew and I fight to stay cordial to a landlord that ignores us and the roof issue that is making Andrew's room partially unlivable (water damage on the ceiling) I just remember that connections/relationships leak. They don't go has planned. Things slip through the cracks and meanings get lost. That the most important thing is I am flowing into the empty spaces more and often times that is when the art gets done. I walk or bike to work and on those walks I always make sure to look at the Mississippi River. I live less than a mile from work and I walk slow and I watch the rushing river.

I was thinking about how that flowing river remembers what it is to be ice. Or rather there is a memory of ice. That thought made me sad when I thought it. That no matter how we flow, how we move, how we rejoice. There is always the bitter cold to remember. But ice is sublime. There is nothing that is all bad or call good. And why is ice bad anyway? Let your memory of ice dance as you flow down the river.

The thing is...with all this learning of flow...my emotions are coming into or through my body in a more intense emotional way and I am having a hard time holding things back...so we shall see where that takes me in the months to come. So not the right time, is not a time of impatience anymore, or at least less of it. Not the right time is filled with friends, learning, art, and joy. Not the right time is losing it's inglorious, pugnacious, rotten, smelly, feeling of being a downer. Glory to Not the Right Time and all that it contains.

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