Sunday, July 27, 2014

Walk with ME: No Walks

I woke up grumpy. Like real crabby. Why? Cause it has been so hot and humid here in Minneapolis. I am not made to wake up sweaty and feeling like I am carrying around extra water weight. The other thing was, I woke up knowing there wasn't going to be any walks at Walker Open Fields. I just felt it.

I want to stop this chronological story telling to say a few things. When I saw that the Walker had opened a Public Practice Programs Director. I cheered. I wanted her job. But mostly I cheered. It was one of the reasons I felt good about  moving to Minneapolis. I am slowly getting to know people here. I am terrified of being rejected but I also no longer kiss ass. Which in LA, there were so many asses I kissed. Mostly metaphorically. Maybe one or two ass kisses happened while dancing. They were purely platonic. I also know how hard it is to put on events. I do it as my job. Alas, this Saturday, Open Fields was put on top of a hill out of the way of all the foot traffic. The awesome Open Field director said I could venture down to the sculpture garden to invite folks to walk. But there we were five different artists, mostly in a U-shape. And I felt a solidarity to them. Staying with theme. Like well, if I am meant to walk someone will come up here.

I had a great chat with an artist and her husband. I thought for SURE I could get the lady to walk with me. Alas, their son was one of the other artists so they were there to support him. And well they thought it was a great project but it was too scary...or so it felt.

An amazing Dad of two, came up and with a 7 month old strapped to the front of him asked some really insightful questions. Taking the time to be an adult for a minute while his 3 year old wanted to boss him around. That was an amazing moment to me. That he wanted to keep my zine and talk about my project seriously. (Please remember how crabby I started the day.)
Getting Set Up for Open Field

If someone gave me a check list of if my performance yesterday was a success. It would be diagnostically a no. No walks happened. I worried that the organizers would be upset at me for not following through not BUSKING in the park to get someone to walk. I just wanted to wait and see. I wanted a walk to come to me.

Well it didn't come but some other great things did. In the form of a clown. One of the other performers was a clown. And she was set up next to me. I like supporting artists. And with our slow turn out there was time to chat. I had time to chat with most of the artists. And it turned out that this lovely clown, Scooper, is opening up a business right by where I will live. I will let her announce her awesome news when she and her business partners are ready but DANG it felt serendipitous to meet this friendly woman who is passionate about art and opening a cool business by where I just decided to live! After a much maligned experience in my leaky Minneapolis slum lord apartment. We ended up having lunch after Open Field and discussing my desire to put together a Feminist Film Festival here in Minneapolis. Her time in Colorado. And possible funding opportunities for me. Along with much more. And though there were no walks. It sure felt like I came to Walker Open Fields to meet some nice artists including Scooper. Serendipity. Or something. I mean cool people propose projects to Walker Open Field.

So after many sunny hours and a back sunburn (I couldn't find my sunscreen but luckily Laura had some later in the day that saved my face and chest from burn.) A lovely lunch. I went and watched a fantastic performance by Maren Hassinger for the Radical Presence show that just opened at the Walker. She had local women artists, rip, twist, knot together, and roll into a ball newspaper and then the last woman threw the ball into the crowd. To me actually which was exciting and terrifying. I quickly threw it to the woman next to me. As a performance artist I loved every minute of it. And then we as a crowd got to make them. Things got very communal and loud and lovely as we all made our twisted newspaper strings. What I was in awe of was hands. Of course, doing walk with me. Holding hands and all I am attuned to them. But everyone noticed the glory of these women's hands. I noticed how differently each woman did each task. It was a glorious meditation.

I then went in watched The Clock, for awhile. Which I find panic inducing as there is no space to forget time and each minute. I wait for it to pass. I will go back though for the extended hour night and try to stay up late watching it.

I then grabbed a chihuahua dog at the hot dog stand and spent an hour and half reading "Americanah," by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie . Which is a most amazing book! I hope it ends up as a book read in colleges. My time in Africa makes me relate to some of it's issues of race and class more. But I think anyone would enjoy reading this book. A huge African wedding came into the garden as I packed up to go to "Wild Moon Bhaktis" the amazing Kirtan music group I spent 2+ hours with meditating and chanting. My friend Laila plays the flute with them often. She invited me and I had wanted to go for so many of their full moon celebrations. I am very glad I made it as I sang my heart out. Sat in meditation on the floor for two hours without my foot going to sleep (!) that is a first! There is nothing like being intuned to your spiritual center and then even make small movements. It is a strange and powerful feeling. Afterwards, I was blissed out beyond belief. I felt high. What a better way to get there than drugs!

Laila and I went out for a drink afterwards at The Lowry (cause they have a parking lot!). Laila and I most definitely vibrate at the same high frequency. There are not that many of us out there. As Laila pointed out we are Highly Sensitive People. They have labeled us. I was proud as a highly Sensitive Person to not take today too seriously. To find the definite bright spots. To celebrate the hard work the Open Field people put in to make it happen. Can't wait to make the Group Walk next Saturday a more conventionally successful event. To celebrate what I have. A growing in depth friendship network here in Minnesota. A growing calm in loving myself and others. And a high vibration to hum/enact/set fire in this world.

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