Friday, April 19, 2013

Walk with ME Walk #5 with Dave

I have to admit that after two walks in one day. I was exhausted. The weather had changed from sunny and windy to cloudy and colder with a bit more wind. Dave is someone I did not know when I was in Boston. He was in a band with Irina which I saw play a few times. So when I saw him he looked familiar but I don't think we ever spoke or interacted.
Dave has amazing glasses with nice big black frames. He is a skinny guy and seems bookish. i guess with the glasses. He seemed very approachable and friendly without being outgoing. I at a clementine and drank some water and got ready for walk three of the day. It felt like a chore at first getting out the door but almost immediately I was glad I had agreed to one more walk.
Dave immediately told me that he is pretty blind and has no peripheral vision. Which meant we really were not looking at each other unless we turned our heads at the same time. Dave's gait was very different form mine and I was really worried that we were not going to be able to sync up walking and that it may even be a bit painful for me. After the first ten minutes though, we were able to sync up and it was really enjoyable to walk with Dave. When we did make eye contact it was a treat cause I knew we were making the effort to see each other, not just a side glance. I could feel his bones crack a few times in his hand and his shoulder.
I felt comfortable to talk about my fears of getting older and not having a significant other. I was able to talk about my fears about the project. that people are judging me for not going out on the street and asking complete strangers. How it is actually harder for me to walk with people I know....I talked about how I am really ready to live and not achieve. That I have been very goal oriented and that now I am ready to move through life in a different way. That I want to not just focus on goals but on people. I used to live in Boston and I admitted to Dave that with what I had built up there I shouldn't have just walked away. But that when I had I never thought of moving back. That with LA I don't want to do the same thing. I can't just rip up all the roots I have there and walk away. It killed a part of me to walk away from Boston because I was walking away from a part of myself. Dave spoke of his and his girlfriends goals for the immediate future. how he understood my desire to travel and my desire not to tear up roots. He spoke of his job and his lives travels the past 10 years.
I don't know how to say this but while walking with Dave I felt like I received the whole story of Dave. Not through words. He didn't tell me his darkest secrets or his whole life story. not through words but through feelings i felt like I received Dave as a whole. With that some walks feel more healing for the other walks, some walks feel about the same, within this walk for me, I felt like i was the one that had the heart space to heal.
We walked from his house to Davis Square. Which was an emotional walk for me. As that is where one of my exes lived and where I spent a lot of time. We ended the walk at Diesel Cafe and wrote our reflections there. the earl grey tea I had there was really lovely smelling...intensified by the presence the day had walked into me.

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