Amy is a friend of Kest’s, she came over to Kest’s house and gave me a big hug. She was warm and smiley and ready to walk. She is a nursing student who is almost finished with her degree and a bubbly woman looking for love. She had a date a few hours after our walk.
Frederick is a small town. With the small town dynamic, it was really intense to walk around with another woman. No one said anything but I found myself tensing up at times. Amy confidently took me to Baker Park. We swung together on the swings, holding hands.
We took pictures of our hands and sat there swaying for awhile. A cool Grandma actually sliding down the slide with her granddaughter was there. And lots of other folks. I felt like we were doing a radical act in that park. We got off the slides and walked down the river path.
|This is Amy's rock. For her birthday she was coronated on this rock. She was a princess for a day.|
Amy shared a lot of personal stories. About growing up and making tough decisions. It made me thinking about how life can fall apart. That no matter how hard you try or what you do. Sometimes shit just does not go your way. Hell sometimes life doesn’t go your way. Sometimes people die young. Sometimes love ends.
What is hilarious about these thoughts coming up within my reminiscings of Amy’s walk. Is that Amy is YOUNG and FULL of LIFE and hope. Amy is emanating the joy of youth and I was so glad to get to share it with her. I was so glad to be living my dreams and say to a young twenty something. Yeah you can do it! And yes it is hard work, but here I am. It took 32 years of work to let go of what I thought I should be doing and just do what I want. It took 32 years to decide it is ok to just love what I want to love. It took 32 years to calm down. Amy reminded me being an energetic beautiful woman is not such a bad thing. That maybe I can embrace that. That my energy and love of life can not be something to hide but to let out and play.
I am exhausted…not eating the best and not exercising other than hiking around towns. But I feel really happy. I feel happy to be here and glad I could settle into Frederick for a few days before heading further south.
Amy got ready for her date at Kest’s and I consulted on what necklace to wear. But like I would have at the retail store I used to work at in Cambridge, MA. And then away she went.
She shared a bit of a poem with me and I would like to share it with you all:
"I want to know/If you can sit with pain/Mine or your own/Without moving to hide it/Or fade it/Or fix it.
It doesn't interest me/who you know/of how you came to be here/I want to know if you will stand/in the centre of the fire/with me/And not shrink back.
I want to know if you can be with joy/mine or your own/If you can dance with wildness/and let the ecstasy fill you/ to the tips of your fingers and toes/ without cautioning us/to be careful/to be realistic/to remember the limitations/of being human."
-Oriah Mountain Dreamer